Back to School Struggles: A Parenting Tool That Works

Fall is upon us, and for many parents that means a return to school, homework, busier schedules—and sometimes, more meltdowns. The shift from slow summer mornings and seemingly unlimited downtime can feel jarring for families.

Over the years, many parents have shared similar concerns once school begins: children refusing to leave the car at drop-off, frequent after-school meltdowns, or outright refusal to do homework.

From a therapeutic perspective, these struggles often connect to common challenges such as:

• Anxiety
• Low self-esteem
• Power struggles

While frustrating—and often piling on top of an already full day of parenting—these behaviors are not permanent. With a few simple changes, you may notice improvement. One helpful strategy is choice giving.

Choice giving allows children to feel a sense of control within a structured day, while parents still guide toward the desired outcome.

Here are a few examples:

"I know you are struggling to enter school today, but we do need to attend. You can choose to walk to the door on your own, or you can choose to have me walk with you. Which do you choose?"

"I know you feel overwhelmed with homework. Unfortunately, homework is something that needs to be done. You can choose to complete it right after school, or after a snack. Which do you choose?"

"This assignment seems really challenging today, and I'd like to help. You can choose to have me help you as you work, or you can choose to have me review it once you're done. Which do you choose?"

Choice giving can shift the tone of a meltdown and stop power struggles before they escalate. If you'd like to learn more, I recommend watching Garry Landreth's YouTube video, "Choices, Cookies, and Kids."

While this is a simple starting point, I hope it offers encouragement and a practical tool for parents navigating this school season. Remember—you are not alone. Many parents face these day-to-day school struggles.